


With a Twist

by usedupshiver



Series: Drowning Sorrows [6]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2103774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usedupshiver/pseuds/usedupshiver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy coming to terms with a mortal enemy becoming your... something else. Especially if your name is Tony Stark and you have a hard time coming to terms with just about anything.<br/>Sometimes, you just have to kiss and make up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With a Twist

**Author's Note:**

> (First try at writing from Tony's perspective...)

Sometimes Tony Stark wondered how the hell this had happened. How had the tall, dark, lethal piece of trickster that once threw him headfirst out of his own damn window turned into his... well, non-enemy? There really was no word for what Loki was to him now. But ”enemy” had definitely stopped covering it right about the time his uncontrolled curiosity had made him put his hand under that leather armour, and he actually had been allowed to live to tell the tale. 

_(Except that he hadn't told anyone. That was another part of this problem.)_

It sure wasn't love. Let's get that clear straight away. Nope. Nothing even remotely like that.

Tony didn't do love. And - he was pretty damn sure - neither did Loki. They had both had just too much trouble with that kind of crap. There was the heartbreak, the lies, the deception, the betrayal, the anger, the hurt, and probably like ten other things he'd forgotten about.

But mosty, there were the _trust issues_. They only trusted each other as far as they could throw... You know what? That mental picture didn't work. Enough with the throwing.

Just, trust issues, okay?

Sure, yeah, there was the sex. Of course there was. And it sure was... Something. Not that they really did anything that weird and kinky. Just that Loki had this way of bringing a certain _intensity_ into everything he did. This way of turning his undivided attention on Tony that almost had him cum in his pants, like an overstimulated teenager. Every time. 

You don't really need to dress it up and make it complicated when someone just has to look at you to make you go partially insane.

But Tony was a big boy, all grown up, and he knew there could be just the sex. No strings.

And that would have been preferable, even. He could have understood that. The whole ”I hate your face, now come over here and let me fuck you senseless”-thing. Everyone could relate to angry sex and hatefucks, right?

Right.

So that would have been easier. Wouldn't really have messed with him that much.

You know what did mess with him? The fact that he pretty soon figured out that he actually liked the guy.

What the hell was _that_ about?

And, of course, there was the part where all of this was still just one huge secret. Made really horrible by the fact that he had lied to Thor about Loki being on Earth in the first place. Well, failed to mention that he was, more like, but Thor didn't take well to hairsplitting and semantics. 

Tony suspected a thousand years living with Loki might have something to do with that. Actually.

And he didn't feel like telling the Avengers anyway.

He knew what they would all say. They'd be shocked and confused and there'd be all this "oh my god Tony's been compromised!"-bit and he just wasn't in the mood for shit like that. Not now. Possibly never. Yeah, probably most likely never.

Besides, he wasn't. Compromised, that is.

He hadn't been lying when he told Loki that covering for him wasn't really a personal thing. There just hadn't been a reason to tell anyone that had felt really, you know, valid. Sure, if there had been even a hint of Loki going back to his old conquering ways, Tony would have told on him in a second. No hesitation. He'd have run off to Rogers so fast he would have nearly tripped over his own feet.

_"Teacher, teacher! Guess what Loki just did!"_

Then Headmaster Thor would have heard of it and everything would have erupted into good oldfashioned classroom chaos.

And all of it most likely ending with Loki being expelled from school, permanently.

No hesitation. Nope. No matter what those long fingers could do to him. No matter how the man's sharp wit could crack him up. 

Compromised? Hell no. Tony Stark didn't do compromised either.

Difinitely nothing going on in the feelings department.

So why had they just spent the night simply sipping beer and talking? Why was there a tall, dark piece of trickster stretched out next to him on his couch at this very moment, an arm and a knee casually hanging over the edge of the seat? And more importantly, why was the sight so distracting?

Yeah, sure, Loki in his armour had been pretty damn formidable.

Loki in that gray suit? Holy hell.

Loki right now, in black jeans and a green t-shirt? Shit. Those long, bare arms...

What? Oh, fuck you!

Aesthetics were aesthetics. Just because you considered Michelangelo's "David" a piece of perfection didn't mean you had a crush on the thing, did it? That's right. So just shut up.

_(Muscles in marble, though? Yeah, that came pretty damn close.)_

So why was Tony kind of happy to notice that Loki's eyes were closed, and that the even, slow breathing sounded like sleep?

Sure wasn't because it made him feel pretty good to have the guy relaxed enough in his company to drift off like that. Nope.

More likely because he had the night to himself and could do whatever he wanted, not having to play the host. So. What did he want to do? Could be anything! Drink? Go to the workshop? Go to the workshop _and_ drink? All good suggestions.

Or, you know. He could just stay right where he was, place a careful arm around Loki's chest and stare at the man like a bloody fool until he nodded off himself.

Nothing weird about that. What so ever.

_(Shut up!)_

* * *

Somewhere when night was turning to morning, Loki woke with a gasping start, pulling himself from Tony's sleepweakened arm, only to fall out of the couch and land with a undignified thump on the floor.

Tony blinked in the gray, predawn light. What the fuck?

He had fully expected Loki to come bouncing right back up, jack-in-the-box-style, but he didn't. _What the fuck?_

Slowly, Tony pulled himself to the edge, to glance down. He had no idea how to deal with what he saw.

Loki wasn't quite curled up on the floor, but one leg was pulled up towards the couch, his whole body twisting slightly in the same direction, presenting mostly back to the room. His hands and arms where half covering his head. He looked pretty much like someone had just yelled _"grenade!"_ , and he had ducked for cover.

Tony knew that look. He'd had his fair share of waking up in pretty much the same state.

The only things moving were Loki's chest and shoulders, heaving with breaths and... Sobs? Sure, not a sound was coming from him, but the way cramps where pulling at his shoulderblades under the green t-shirt, Tony was willing to bet every single penny he had to his name that Loki was crying.

Except you'd have to be an insensitive asshole to make that kind of bet.

Oh, wait... 

Well. Whatever. No-one here to bet against anyway.

"Lok'?"

Nothing.

"Hey." Tony carefully extended his arm, placed his palm on a heaving shoulder. "Loki?"

With a hiss Loki rolled back, an arm up in defense and head lifted just enough to stare at Tony. Sure enough, there were tears streaking his face, and the pale lines of it were twisted in pain and fear and all sorts of things that just made Tony's heart smart a bit.

 _(And he_ still _looked bloody amazing. Weren't you supposed to look bad, crying your eyes out? Shit.)_

They remained like that, Loki pulled away and Tony's arm hanging in the air above him. None of them moved a muscle for a while. Tony had no idea how long. Minutes.

Then Loki blinked, slowly, and something cleared in his eyes.

"Stark." His voice was a fucking _mess_. "Why are you here?"

"Besides the obvious reason that I live here?" Tony managed a little smile. "Yeah, well, we both fell asleep on the couch."

Another blink. "I am in the Tower." Loki's face was slowly smoothing out, pained lines disappearing.

"Sure are."

Tony pulled his arm back, slowly. He didn't think Loki wanted to hurt him, but the guy wasn't exactly himself at the moment. And when someone might punch your head clean off your shoulders just accidentally, you went for safe over really fucking sorry. Every time.

"I fell asleep."

"Sure did." Tony watched the pale face slowly compose itself. "You feel like getting off that floor? There is still room up here."

Loki hesitated, but then he sat up, lifting a hand to wipe tears from his face. Tony pushed himself against the back of the seat again, and Loki climbed in beside him, his back to Tony's chest, just like they had been before Loki did that little swan dive onto the hardwood. Tony took that as a sign that it would be all right to put his arm back where it had been as well. Snaking his fingers in under the bare arm in front of him, he got his hand down to place it over Loki's sternum, arm cradling ribs.

Loki's heart was beating furiously against his palm.

"Dream?" No need to ask if it had been a bad one.

"Yes." All gravel.

"Those are a bitch."

"Yes." A sigh. 

His heartrate slowed just a bit. Maybe because Tony wasn't asking too many questions.

Tony put his forehead against the back of Loki's head, his face full of black hair. It tickled, but he didn't care.

"Yeah. I remember when dreams were supposed to be a good thing. You know? All bright and fluffy and fucking rainbows and all. Or daydreams. Those were nice. Specially the dirty ones. And dreams about what your life would be like when you were all grown up." Tony felt the warmth of his own soft chuckles in Loki's hair. "Stupid. But I miss that."

With every word the heart under his hand calmed a bit more.

Silence. For once Tony just left it unbroken.

"Stupid." Loki's voice was more like itself now, mostly velvet. Another sigh. "Very stupid."

”I suppose dreams are just lies you tell yourself until you get too old to believe in them.”

”And old enough to know that the nightmares are still real.”

”And that.” It was Tony's turn to sigh.

Weren't they just one big pile of sparkly fucking joy?

Silence again.

Then he felt Loki's arm move, and a hand over his own. First he thought it would be pulled away, rejected, but then those long fingers just entwined with his, pressing his palm closer.

”At least there are things to keep the nightmares at bay.”

Tony had nothing to say to that. He had sort of heard it like he was one of those things to Loki. But that couldn't be right. Could it?

Not likely, he decided. To Loki, he was entertainment. That was what he had come looking for in the first place, that was still it, and Tony could live with that. It wasn't like he hadn't been pretty damn entertained himself.

There was, of course, the fact that Loki had had the dubious pleasure of seeing him fall to pieces, and had still chosen to stay with him. But you know, a guy like him... Maybe he got off on stuff like that?

Yeah, that had to be it. Let's go with that. 

_(And for fuck's sake, let's ignore that little flutter of hope in Tony's heart. That had_ not _just happened.)_

Loki's whole body tensed then, and Tony was preparing for him to get up and leave, as usual. But instead, Loki turned over in the couch, so that he was facing Tony, their legs getting tangled to fit on the seat.

Tony blinked with surprise, suddenly all deer caught in the headlights, no idea what was coming next. There was that intensity. Something significant in the green eyes. What, though, was impossible to say. With Loki it could be anything from a great fuck to attempted murder. All part of the charm. Mostly.

What happened was that Loki moved closer. He hooked one of his long legs around Tony's hip, pulling his whole body flush against his own. Then he gently put his hands around Tony's head, palms on the sides and fingers combed into his hair.

And Tony knew what was coming then.

Yeah, sure, he had kissed Loki before. Once. That time he had come home to find him wearing the suit. But that had been more of a "you are being really fucking brave right now, and awesome (and goddamned gorgeous)"-thing. Kind of. Or more like a "thank you for doing this for me"-thing. Really.

Not romantic at all. Really.

Not even a little.

No tongue or anything.

_(And what had happened on the couch after that had _definitely_ not been romantic. Fuck no. Dirty and hot as all hell? Yes. Romantic? No.)_

Well, this was nothing like that. 

Not even close.

Loki's lips touched his, light as feathers. Almost tickled him, before they closed over them for real. Still soft, though, no hard edges anywhere.

Tony knew he really shouldn't, but he still let his arms do what they felt like, and place themselves around Loki's shoulders, a hand over the back of his neck, tangled in long, black hair. This was almost as stupid as believing in dreams. No, _exactly_ as stupid. Exactly.

But the way Loki's lips moved against his, pulling back just slightly and then coming back for more... Yeah, he was in so much fucking trouble.

Then the softest little moan Tony had ever heard came from Loki, touching his lips like a prayer. Begging for mercy. And Tony found his mouth opening to let the man in, even before he had decided that he wanted to. Loki followed, lips still against Tony's, as his tongue softly slid over the inside of lips, teeth, to gently touch Tony's.

That touch was like an electric current had just flashed through both of them, making them tense, making Loki's leg push him harder, making Tony's hand urge that head closer.

It burned away some of the gentle softness. Loki angled his head slightly, och Tony felt him find the spot he had been searching for, slowly playing his game with Tony's tongue. He felt the vibration of the man's groan travel through those lips into his, up into his scalp, down the back of his neck.

So much fucking trouble. Really. Just endless amounts of it.

When Loki slowly retreated, Tony knew it was an invitation for him to follow. And he was just all too eager to do it.

Even though, admittedly, moving his tongue past those sharp, white teeth he did have a brief vision of Loki biting it off. But then again, he'd trusted Loki's mouth with other parts of his body before and was still in one piece. Worth the risk. Every time.

The inside of Loki was just slightly cooler than Tony. Not Code Blue cold, of course, just a bit below human average. It's own kind of nice.

Tony didn't realize the next moan had been his until it was too late.

And by then it was still just getting started.

After a while of hard mingling with soft, that cool tongue wetting his lips, coaxing him out to play, Tony didn't have breath left to moan. Or anything. His heart was racing, working overtime passing blood through him that did nothing, completely empty of oxygen.

When the world was spinning even behind his eyelids, he had to pull back, come to the surface for air. Loki let him have his mouth back, but didn't let him go. Just extended the arm under Tony's head, made him rest on his bicep instead of his hand, and splayed the hand over his back instead, holding him even closer.

”Stupid”, Tony heard himself muttering. He must still be half delirious, he had had no intention of saying that out loud at all.

”Very stupid”, came the soft answer, in a brush against his sore lips. And that touch of breath must have knocked the last bit of sense out of Tony, because that was when he, still dizzy, pulled Loki's mouth back to his own.

Stupid? Bat shit crazy more like. Why had self control never been his super power? That would have been way more useful. At least in situations like this.

Yeah, who was he kidding? He'd never been in a situation like this.

When he forced himself to let go next time, he was pretty damn close to just passing out, like some dainty lady with her corset laced too tight. Wondering how Tony Stark had been reduced to this shivering, useless heap of hope.

This right here, this was why it all had to stay a secret. Bad enough this guy knew. This guy, who was pulling him to his chest, fanning ragged breaths over his hair? That guy? Yeah...

What were they doing to each other? Really?

When they had both calmed down a bit, Tony realized he was still tired. Really tired. The sun was just about to come up, and he hadn't slept that many hours before Loki had startled him awake. And because he was tired and more stupid than ever, he buried his head against the hollow of Loki's throat, curled into the lingering embrace, and closed his eyes. 

Clinging on to those wide shoulders for dear life and not even knowing it until it was too late.

There was a sigh in his hair. ”Why hold on to me so tightly, Stark? You know I will still be gone when you wake up.”

”Yeah, I know. And that's why.” 

_(Seriously?! Tony, really, if you can't say something that will let you keep at least a shred of dignity, just shut the fuck up.)_

”Oh.” It had absolutely so inflection what so ever.

So? What was he supposed to make of that, then?

”I take it, then, that you would want me to stay?”

Tony had to make a huge mental effort to not blurt out something senseless. He swallowed. Hard.

”I know you can't.”

Well, that wasn't so bad! Right in the middle between nonchalant and desperately clingy. 

Nailed it!

”Perhaps... I could. This once. If you want me to?”

Once. 

Was that better or worse than never? Probably way, way worse. Yeah. Definitely worse.

He was probably never going to get over it. It would just... Ruin him. He would have to say no. Tell him to leave. Maybe stay away a while, even. Just to let Tony get a fucking grip on reality again.

That was the smart, sensible, reasonable thing to do.

He should totally do that.

Then he opened his mouth, and it all went to shit.

”I want you to.”

Crap!

Then he felt Loki's lips against his hair, and it didn't seem that bad. Might even be worth it.

Tony Stark fell asleep just as he was, curled up against a tall, dark piece of trickster, his heart completely compromised.

**Author's Note:**

> (Oh wow, you guys, I'm a bit blown away by the response to this part. I'm going to have to write Tony some more now, aren't I? Well, I can live with that!)


End file.
